Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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