i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
