Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
