Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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