I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize