I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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