sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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