You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
