So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
