would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
