but the lizard people decide everything anyway
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize