How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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