your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
