'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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