Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
