He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am midnight drunk by noon
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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