Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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