12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
