don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
