nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
