sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have already put on my inside pants.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
