I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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