My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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