good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
