Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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