I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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