areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
someone owes me an orgasm
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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