remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
birth control should be required to get into college
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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