Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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