I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize