her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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