he was CRYING into my vagina
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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