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The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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