I want to make a zoo with you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
nutella sex= disaster
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
