I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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