I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
