so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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