Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
