M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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