this boner is exhausting
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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