Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
