well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
