did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
