it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
