frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
