I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to cum in my sink.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
