It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They took my balls.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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