some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
