either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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