How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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