Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
