So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
