Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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