You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
