i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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