Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
