I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
