Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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