Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
